


Break My Heart Again

by Thetolwrites



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Billy Hargrove & Maxine "Max" Mayfield Bonding, Billy Hargrove & Maxine "Max" Mayfield Have a Good Relationship, Bisexual Steve Harrington, Breaking Up & Making Up, Brotherly Steve Harrington & Dustin Henderson, Everyone Needs A Hug, Gay Billy Hargrove, Good Sibling Maxine "Max" Mayfield, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Protective Dustin Henderson, Steve Harrington is a Sweetheart
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:54:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23570383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thetolwrites/pseuds/Thetolwrites
Summary: Billy is happy. He has a great job, his own house and a dog. He doesn't go back to Hawkins, Indiana... ever. So, that's why he was so shocked to see Steve Harrington after all these years. It's definitely not because he was still in love with his highschool sweetheart.Steve is stressed, but he's happy. He works two jobs that he loves, rents the same apartment that he's had since he was twenty-three and... he adopted a kid. He goes back to Hawkins, Indiana sometimes. He was still shocked to see Billy Hargrove after all these years. It's definitely not because he was still in love with his highschool sweetheart.
Relationships: Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington, Robin Buckley/Heather Holloway
Comments: 3
Kudos: 43





	1. You Were Good To Me

**Author's Note:**

> Three things :   
> 1\. This first chapter is sad so here we go!   
> 2\. I made a playlist for this fic! Listen to it here!! : https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0WQza26ZOSqomhfN5CqNmT?si=-q-Ki-hZRiOaNTs51tc9Aw  
> 3\. The fic has a sorta weird timeline. Chapter one takes place in 2011 and the rest of the story will take place in 2020, but like not our shitty quarantine 2020.

If you ask Billy Hargrove when he and Steve started dating he couldn’t give you a straight answer. He might say, at some point between all the fighting and bullying, it became flirting and fucking. When they started officially dating? Billy didn’t know if they even _were _officially dating. Sure, they spent a lot of time together, were constantly kissing or having sex. Billy knew all of Steve’s little quirks. Steve had broken down his walls, and he’d like to say that Steve knew him pretty damn well too. They’d been “together” for about a year he would guess.__

__

__Billy knew he wasn’t an easy person to be around. He liked it like that. He made himself like that. It hurt less when people left if he pretended he didn’t care. Steve Harrington just _did _something to Billy. He made him go soft, made him spill how he was feeling, made him check his phone every five seconds for a text from him. Steve made Billy go from sending only sexy texts to the dorky ones where he’s using emoticons and going on rants about how cute otters are. Steve just knew Billy. He knew Billy was full of bullshit the moment they started talking. He saw straight through him and dug himself a nice little home into the last caring piece of Billy’s soul. Billy wanted to hate it, but he couldn’t bring himself to hate anything about Steve.___ _

____ _ _

____He couldn’t hate the smell of the expensive lavender body wash Steve always uses. He couldn’t hate the way Steve’s hair falls into his eyes when it hasn’t been styled, the way his eyes light up every time he sees Billy, the way he laughs like he’s trying to keep it a secret, the way he smiles against Billy’s lips every time he kisses him goodnight. Billy can’t even hate Steve when he’s mad. Even when Steve pokes his finger into his chest and tells Billy that he’s bullshit, spouting words that weren’t from Steve’s mouth. Billy might get mad, but he could never hate Steve._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____Their relationship was good. Life was far from perfect, but Billy was okay. He had Steve, so he was going to be okay. Steve was his anchor when his world got flipped upside down or whenever he started feeling just a bit too overwhelmed and it was nice, letting himself rely on someone. He knew that Steve would always have his back. Steve knew all of his darkest secrets. Steve was the one Billy would run to in the middle of the night when his face hurt and he was scared of being alone. Steve was the one that Billy gave his mom’s necklace to when Neil had threatened to break it. It made his heart skip a beat every time Steve took off his shirt and there was his cross, in the middle of a chest that was normally marked up with bites and hickeys. Steve Harrington was beautiful. Steve Harrington was beautiful and kind, and Billy Hargrove did not deserve him. Billy Hargrove was mean and angry. Billy Hargrove was impulsive and destructive. Steve stayed with him anyway. Billy Hargrove has never been in love before, but he’s starting to think… this might be love._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____It all came crashing down one night as the two were laying side by side on the hood of the Camaro. They’d been passing a joint back and forth, sharing kisses between hits as they listened to Coldplay and the sounds of the peaceful summer night surrounding them. It was starting to get closer to the end of August, meaning Billy had his senior year and Steve… they didn’t know what Steve was going to do yet. Steve suddenly sits up, looking at Billy nervously before he takes a big hit off the joint and looks back into the woods. “So uh… I… I have to tell you something.”_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____Billy tries not to show how fucking nervous that made him. His stomach dropped to his shoes like a rock, and his body was tensed, resisting the urge to run away from his problems. “Yeah? What is it, princess?” He tried to sound nonchalant as he looked over at his boyfriend. His voice still sounded forced and he could feel his heart beating so fast. Steve smiles at him sweetly, leaning over to give him a soft kiss. Billy allowed it to comfort him as he ran his fingers through Steve’s ridiculously soft hair._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____“I got into Bloomington…” Steve whispers against his lips and Billy feels his heart clench in his chest. He was happy, he’d spent hours and hours helping Steve study and apply to colleges. It was just… Bloomington was three hours away. Three hours was… a long drive when they both had classes and Billy had a dad that was constantly down his throat. Neil wouldn’t let him drive 30 minutes away to go watch a fucking movie, he definitely wouldn’t let him drive three hours to go visit his boyfriend. Billy smiles anyway, kisses Steve’s neck as he mumbles. “That’s amazing, baby. I’m so proud of you.”_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____Steve lets out a little giggle, moaning softly as Billy decides to make one of the marks on his jugular that much darker. “Yeah, I have an orientation in two weeks.” Billy pauses, looking away as he nods. “Oh.” Steve blinks, placing a hand on Billy’s cheek, he lets himself relax into the touch, cherishing it for as long as he could. Steve frowns, stroking his thumb against Billy’s bottom lip as he leans their foreheads together. “What’s going on in that big ole brain of yours, big guy?”_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____Billy sighs. “It’s just. God, Steve I don’t know. I thought you decided that you were coming to Cali with me? What happened there?” Steve raises an eyebrow. “Baby. I _am _going to Cali with you. I’m going to transfer.” Billy feels himself tensing, anger filling him like a tightening coil as he pulls away and scoffs. “Sure. Because you’re going to wait a whole year for me.”___ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______Steve’s eyes narrow as he frowns. “Of course I will? What are you talking about Billy?” Billy groans and lays back on the hood. “You’re not going to wait a whole fucking year when there are other people to fuck in Bloomington!” Steve lets out a soft noise of shock. “Oh fuck off, Hargrove. That’s not all that our relationship is and you fucking know it!”_ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______Billy growls, standing up and pacing away from his car. “So?! It doesn’t fucking matter. You know I can’t go to fucking Bloomington right now! My dad is down my fucking throat as it is! We’re never gonna see each other!” Steve shakes his head. “What about me, Billy?! What am I supposed to do?! Just fucking sit here and wait?! I’m not working another fucking year at goddamn Family Video and let my dad step on my balls for being in his house for another year! I have to do something!”_ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______Billy sighs and shakes his head. “Fuck! I guess this is it then huh?! Christ. You’re so fucking selfish.” Steve scoffs, looking at Billy in shock. “I’M SELFISH?! Are you fucking kidding me?!” Billy groans as he feels that familiar itch to punch something until his knuckles bleed. Steve suddenly shoves Billy hard, and he almost falls, stumbling as Steve gets in his face. “I thought you would be excited for me! Happy for me! I have no fucking problem driving home to see you! I don’t care, you act like… you act like you don’t care about me at all unless it’s convenient.” Steve looks at him deep in his eyes, brown irises welling up with tears._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______“Do you even care about me at all?” Steve whispers into the humid night air, the cicadas and katydids called out into the night air. His voice sounded so hurt… he sounded like it was already over whenever they had two more weeks together. There was a storm gathering in the distance and Billy could just feel the electricity in the air. He could see a lightning strike in the distance behind Steve’s head as it suddenly begins to rain. They came out to the quarry to fuck, not to talk about this. Everything would be so peaceful, so perfect if they just weren’t talking about this. “Do you even want to try? You sound like you’re just giving up!”_ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______Billy bites his lip, glaring at Steve. Before compelling himself to just not give a shit. Steve was leaving! He was leaving him just like everyone else and he doesn’t give a fuck anymore. Fuck Steve Harrington and fuck everything he stands for. He wouldn’t show Steve how much he was hurting. “No! I don’t! You’re fucking leaving, Steve! You’re leaving and I’m going back to Cali and there’s just no fucking way any of this is going to work! Us pretending it will is fucking stupid! You’re gonna find some other guy or a girl in Bloomington and I… I don’t know. What do you want from me, Steve? You were just some easy fuck and now I don’t want to drive fucking three hours to get some ass. It’s stupid.” He spits out, every word with venom Those beautiful brown doe eyes started tearing up and Billy felt like a fucking monster. It made him mad. He knew he was saying some stupid shit, but he couldn’t just shut his mouth. “This is fucking dumb. We both know this wasn’t a relationship. We were just fucking. I… I have to go.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______He steps away from Steve, stepping back toward his car. He wanted nothing more than to just retreat into his shell of bravado where he doesn’t have to give a shit about anything. Where he hates fucking everything in this goddamn hick town and nothing matters until he gets home, back to Cali. He doesn’t care about anyone. He only looks out for himself and everyone else can get fucked. He doesn’t give a shit about soft brown hair and bright red cheeks that had tears streaming slowly down flawless pale skin._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______He refuses to look at Steve as he hears him choke out a sob, forcing himself to open his car door. “Billy. Don’t fucking do this. You don’t get to just _DO _this! You don’t get to make me trust you and care about you, and then the moment it gets tough you just fucking give up! You don’t get to make me fall in love with you just so you can leave! Do you hear me?! I fucking love you, Billy!”___ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Billy feels a cruel laugh bubble up from deep in his chest. He felt the poison enter his smile as he looks at Steve. He was breathtakingly beautiful, even crying with a runny nose and bright red cheeks, Steve Harrington was fucking gorgeous. Billy knew he loved him. “Well, I don’t and I never will. You were just some prissy bitch for me to fuck and now I’m bored. So… good luck in Bloomington, Steve.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He got into the Camaro without another word, slamming the door so hard it shook the entire frame. His tires squealed as he ripped out of his parking spot and onto the road. He was going ninety miles an hour in the blink of an eye._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Billy didn’t look back as he felt hot tears roll down his cheeks, no one heard his sobs that night except for the wildlife of Hawkins, Indiana._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	2. Hello My Old Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billy is quick to leave Hawkins and everything from high school in the past. Sometimes the past decides not to stay there.

Steve tried to talk to Billy for weeks after that. Even after he moved to Bloomington, he would call him every single day. He even showed up to his house a couple times, which was **_STUPID_** , but Billy refused to acknowledge him at all. It was easier like this. It was easier for both of them to move on if Steve was completely dead to him. He went on dates. He went to parties. He threw himself into his schoolwork and into working out. He fucked guys that meant nothing to him. He fucked girls that meant even less. 

Billy was a ghost of himself for months. He didn’t feel like himself until he made a promise to himself one night, after crying in the mirror, that he was never going to fall in love again. The only thing love was good for was breaking your heart and leaving you even more fucked up than you were before. Billy made a plan that night, and he stuck to it. He got a job, saved up some money, got into a college in Cali on a scholarship and got the fuck out of Neil’s house. Even managed to throw a final “Fuck you” to Neil as a farewell. He didn’t see Steve Harrington again. He didn’t care. He didn’t look back. The only thing he had to do with Hawkins, Indiana was a weekly phonecall to his little shit of a sister, Max. After some time, even those became more rare. 

Billy worked his ass off. He graduated from college and started his own career. He was a physical therapist and a personal trainer on the side. It was decent money; he wasn’t worried about paying his bills, and he always had a little extra. He ended up adopting a pit bull from the animal shelter that was named Diesel. He also bought a house that was just down the road from his job. As far as his love life went, he had some casual love affairs and a few almost-long-term partners but most of his relationships fizzled out pretty quickly. None of them really had the depth to last longer than six months, before Billy found himself bored or they wanted more commitment than he was willing to give.   
  


A lot of time had passed, since his junior year. It had been years since Billy had thought of Hawkins or anyone from it. 

Billy Hargrove was… satisfied with his life. He was content. He just felt like something was… missing. He didn’t know exactly _what_ was missing. It didn’t stop him from being happy, but he just felt like he should be happ _ier_. He had his life down to a schedule. Wake up, feed his dog, go for a run, go to work, come home, go to sleep: rinse and repeat. He felt… almost stale. There was nothing _new_.

Billy was contemplating this feeling of listlessness while he was on his morning run. He looked up from his dog and the sand to make sure he wasn’t going to run into anyone. It was a cloudy, Tuesday morning for California so the beach was empty. Well, except, in the distance, Billy could see a man laughing as he placed his toddlers feet in the water. The kid would scream in joy, and the man would pull him right back up. It was sweet. 

The nearer he got to the two, Billy couldn’t help but watch. It was heartwarming, and it made him wonder if he wanted kids as he watches the little boy squeal in joy and squirm happily in his father’s arms. Maybe the loss he was feeling was really him longer for… kids? Billy briefly looks toward the father as he began to jog by. 

He felt his feet trip over themselves as he sees a familiar head of silky brown hair. He stopped moving in shock, and Diesel, completely unware, yanked Billy into the ground. Billy hit the sand hard. He couldn’t even find it in himself to sit up as his entire world takes a right hook and leave his head spinning. “Are you okay?!” That fucking voice. Jesus, he hadn’t changed it a bit. Still such a mother hen. 

Suddenly Steve’s face centers over Billy’s and he gasps as he looks down at him. “Billy Hargrove?! Is that you?” Billy can’t help it, he smiles up at him, just a little. Even though he was covered head to toe in sand and a thin layer of sweat. “Hey… Stevie. It’s uh… been a long time.” Steve smiles, shaking his head in amazement as he holds out a hand to lift him up. Billy takes it, allowing himself to be pulled to his feet and into a tight hug. “Yeah. It has. I heard you moved back to Cali, but I didn’t know if you’d stayed. This is crazy. What are the odds?” 

Billy shakes his head, pulling away from the hug as he looks over Steve Harrington. He was older sure, a few more creases around his eyes, laugh lines a bit more pronounced but there was something else about him. Something Billy couldn’t quite describe. Steve just had a WAY about him now. He was… different. Billy was different too. Whatever trance the two were in was broken when a small voice softly calls out from the ground. “Daddy?”

Steve quickly shook his head and grinned down at the boy at his feet, lifting him up and into his arms as the child giggled happily. “Sorry, sweetpea! Daddy didn’t forget about you! This is Daddy’s old friend Billy. I haven’t seen him in a really long time. Billy this is my son, Isaiah.” Steve’s eyes had drifted back to Billy as he spoke, they were positively shining. Billy couldn’t help but grin as he turned his attention to the boy in Steve’s arms. He was probably about three with big beautiful eyes and a smile that had even Billy wanting to give in to anything he wanted. Isaiah was adorable… he just looked **_nothing_** like Steve. Billy grins at him anyway, reaching out to rub his little shoulder as he says “Hey there, little man! It’s nice to meet you!” 

Isaiah grins at him, gasping as he sees Billy’s hulk of a dog come back over to the three. His eyes starting to sparkle as he softly gasps out “Pubby!” Billy grins, scratching Diesel behind the ear to get him to kick his leg, just to watch Isaiah laugh. “This big ole boy is Diesel. Had him for about two years now” Upon seeing the slight hesitation in Steve’s eyes he adds “There's nothing to worry about. He’s a huge softie. He’s not even a dog, he’s just a teddy bear.” Steve smiles at that, placing Isaiah down in the sand where Diesel sniffs him twice before deciding he loves him and starts kissing the boy everywhere he could reach. Isaiah’s happy squeals filled the air as Billy and Steve sat side by side in the sand. “So uh… you’re a dad, huh? Are you, uh… married?” Steve snorts, quickly shaking his head. “Oh! No, I um… I adopted Isaiah last year. It’s just the two of us.”   
  


Billy nodded, an odd sense of familiarity surrounding him as he sat side by side with Steve. “What about you?” Steve questioned, bright brown eyes locked onto Billy’s blue as he shakes his head. ”Uh nope. Just uh me and Diesel. Why are you in Cali?”   
  


Steve smiles and shrugged. “My work brought me out here. This is wild. I can’t believe **_you’re_** still here.” Billy laughs and shrugs at that. “California is home for me. Ocean waves run through my veins.” Steve grins at that, nudging their shoulders together. “Yeah. It always has.” 

Just as Billy Was about to respond a text chimes through on his phone. He curses as he sees the time. “Oh damn. I'm gonna be late. It was really nice seeing you again. We should catch up sometime.” He could hardly wait for a response as he called Diesel to his side and took off jogging for his place. It was only after he got into the gym that he remember that he’d forgotten to get Steve’s number.   
  


He cursed himself for an entire week.   
  


  
  



End file.
